The best sound in the world.

A heartbeat.

被偷走的回忆。

今天很不幸，我把手机弄丢了。过去不是没有弄丢过，但每次不见，都会有好心人把手机还我。这次没那么好运了。手机真的不见了。

其实手机对我来说，是身外物。捡到我手机的人，如果真的那么需要一只手机的话，我很乐意送他。但是手机里面的。。就是另外一回事了。我跟朋友的真心对话，和老公的甜言蜜语，儿子从出世到现在的照片和录影，所有的点点滴滴。。没了。心。好。痛。

只能安慰自己。。至少我不见的是手机里面的回忆。。而不是脑海里面的回忆。回忆可以再制造，重要的是我爱的人和爱我的人全都还在我身边，让我可以努力的去制造更多更多美好的回忆。

有时候做人就是这样，要往好的方面想，坏的不去，好的不来。要不然，日子很难过！

明天去买新手机去咯！

The End Of A Reign.

I think anyone who knows me knows about my relationship with my MIL. I will not say I am the best DIL out there cuz I am not. The fact of the reality is that I could be if I wanted to be but as Forrest Gump puts it very aptly, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you're gonna get." In this case, you'll never know what kind of MIL you're gonna get.

A good relationship takes 2 hands to clap. I can only give if someone wanted to receive. Otherwise it would not be giving, it would be forcing.

After nearly 10 years of trying to get along with my MIL. I hereby declare my mission unaccomplished. I cannot get along with her if she is determined not to get along with me. Whatever I do to win her favor is an eyesore to her and whatever help I render to her is seen as being busybody. There can be no good outcome in such a relationship. 勉强真的不会有幸福!

Starting from I-dunno-when, I have started to give up on this relationship.. From turning a deaf ear to closing one eye, I have done everything I can to keep this relationship work on the surface, to avoid any kind of discord between us. I go against my working style, my principles, my conscience, to make this relationship amiable enough to live together with my MIL.

It has not been an easy journey, but at this point, I am beginning to see the fruits of my labour. Not that our relationship is getting better, in fact, it is just the opposite. It is that as time goes by, people around us are beginning to see through her pretense and my suffering and how she has been bullying me. 这些年我忍的都是值得的。

更重要的是，我的心理终于平衡了。

In the past, when I poured out my grievances to my friends, I always wondered at the back of my head, if I was being too melodramatic, was I being too biased? Is she really as demonic as she seem or did I just make her out to be so? I was confused sometimes. Why was I the only person in the family who saw her as I did? Was it really my problem? I knew in my heart it was not but why wasn't this sentiment unanimous?

I do not know how and why but everyone is slowly starting to see this side of her now and I have been getting a lot more support at home and I cannot describe to you how comforting it makes me feel. All these years, all the question marks in my head, all the unfair treatment I have been getting, it all looks perfectly clear to me now. It is like I have finally found the missing piece of the puzzle.

However, at the end of my misery, I do not feel triumphant. I do not feel glad. I do not feel vengeful. I feel understood. I feel justified. I feel free. Finally, I can be honest to myself, to everyone else. That all this time, I have done nothing wrong and I did not deserve to be treated this way. But I do not want any compensation from her. I do not want an apology, I do not want anything. I just want her to stay far away from me. That is how scary she is.

I know I should try to mend the relationship but like I said, it takes 2 hands to clap. I am human after all and I need time to get over this. At this point I cannot be magnanimous and benevolent to her but hopefully some time in the future I can find it in my heart to repair the damage she has done to my battered heart.

A Day In The Life Of A SAHM.

Thank you for still allowing me to sign in to write something on my very neglected blog. I am guilty as charged. It is not that I don't want to write but I truly have no time at all.. Even if I do, I choose to catch up on my sleep... It is very very sought after especially after 1 year of interrupted sleep. And I do mean every, single, night. No joke!!!

So maybe in the effort of trying to redeem myself, I should and am obligated to tell you about how I spend a typical day. Ah.... A day in the life of a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM).....

6 - 8am
Issey normally wakes up at 8am everyday. I don't know how their little bodies work but he does always wake up around the same time everyday. On those days whereby he probably slept better than usual, he will wake up earlier, sometimes as early as 6am. But that happens like once in every 2 weeks. I consider myself lucky!

8 - 9.30am
So when he wakes up, I will normally spend some time with him, playing, cuz he is always bright and cheery when he wakes up. If papa is up for it, he will also get up early to play with him. We can be just rolling in bed or just playing peek-a-boo or simply ruffling through his hair. Just whatever, spending quality time, you know. Then about half an hour later, I will bathe him and give him his morning milk feed.

9.30 - 10.30am
I will bring Issey either in his stroller or his little tricycle to the nearby wet market where I have my breakfast everyday. He sits next to me in his stroller/tricycle.. Sometimes quietly watching the world go by.. Sometimes demanding for some food. Or both. Whichever it is, he normally isn't much of a nuisance to me. I get to finish my food and get my marketing done and then we head home.

10.30 - 11.30am
We come home and I give him some bread and fruits while I prepare his lunch/dinner. Most of the time I cook porridge, other days I will boil some soup and cook him some soft rice with steam fish.

11.30 - 12pm
Issey goes down for his 1st nap of the day.

12 - 2pm
Wile Issey naps, I finish up the rest of my cooking, which may or may not include my own lunch. Some days I just tapao my lunch from the market in the morning. In between the cooking, I also pack the room which is littered with his toys all over, do the laundry, do the dishes, clear up his morning mess which ranges from food crumbs in the floor to taking out his dirty diapers. If I have any time left before he wakes up, I catch some brainless tv on E! simply cuz I don't have the time to watch a movie on HBO or a drama serial on VV drama like I used to. In any case, Issey is normally up before I can touch the tv control.

2pm - 4.30pm
Issey has his lunch and we play with some flash cards. After that, we spend some floor time together, either reading books, playing with his toys or just cuddling him. Sometimes I leave him on his own to explore while I sit on my bed reading/surfing the net. If I have work that needs to be done, I also do them during this time. Sometimes with him on my lap.

4.30 - 5pm
Issey goes down for his 2nd nap of the day.

5 - 5.30pm
It's is a short nap since he already took a long nap earlier. I use this time to either also nap for a bit or to finish up whatever work/chores I have got left.

5.30 - 7pm
When Issey awakes, I start preparing for his dinner feed at 6pm. He normally sits on his high chair and watch me buzzing around in the kitchen. When I am done, I feed him and then clean up the kitchen, with him still in his high chair.

7 - 8.30
I give Issey a dry bath with a damp cloth and change him into his pjs. By 7.30pm he is all fresh and clean and ready for bed. I read bedtime stories to him and spend some time cuddling him. Making sure he goes to bed happy and loved.

8.30pm - 12am
After Issey falls asleep, I grab a quick dinner which I either tapao or cook for myself. After that, I tend to the rest of the chores that I didn't get to in the day. It is different everyday. Sometimes it's laundry (there's plenty of laundry to do in this household cuz there are 5 adults and 1 baby and the baby's laundry has to be done separately from ours), sometimes it's ironing, sometimes it's changing the sheets, sometimes it's packing the grocery. I mean, really, the list never ends. When I finally finish my chores for the day, which is usually about 11pm, I finally sit down to unwind. By this time everyday I am normally too tired to watch TV or do anything at all. I normally just lie in bed, play some brainless games until my eyelids can hold up no more, then I hit the sack. If hubby is home I will stay up a bit longer, chat with him or just sit by him and watch tv together. By 12am we are normally in bed.

12 - 6am
I wake up at least twice in between this time to put Issey back to sleep.. He sometimes wakes up looking for me, or simply wakes up on his own not being able to put himself back to sleep, which is the case most of the time.

And then my day repeats!

So there. A very boring but absolutely busy typical day for me. But nonetheless I would to trade it for anything as it is probably the most fulfilling job in the world to have! The returns are non-tangible, u get paid in special little moments from time to time and the feeling is spectacular. After I get kicked in the face by his little feet, I laugh and praise him for having such strong feet. No other job will have you reacting this way if u ever get kicked in the face. Haha.

Ps. This post was written a few months ago, in one of my many attempts to pick up blogging again. I do not know why I have lost the courage to share my life with my friends.. It's like I on't know how to anymore. But reading this post now, I realized how much has changed just over a few months... And I hope it is not too late to start sharing my life with you again. I will explain myself when I get the chance. For now, thanks to all my awesome friends who are still sticking around here. xxxxxxxxxxx